This was a scene of epic dimension.
Isa was sitting across from me; completely ignorant to the can of worms that was about to blow up in our faces. She kept on looking at me, inquiring, obviously realising something was wrong, by the way I clutched the knife close to my plate when I heard the name Julia. I did everything to keep the emotion off my face, but she had known me for so long and tell tale sings were impossible to ignore. I was in bitch mode, I was in a fury, I was…well simply put, this was war.
Just as easily as she slipped up to us, Julia turned around and began to walk away. I was speechless for a moment; motionless even. I was enraged, but I knew this was not the time and place. My good education, said I should not stoop low and respond to such attacks, the street girl in me said F*** that, no one disrespects me like that. It was another battle within. I let her go. I would deal with this diplo-f**king-matly (at least that’s what I kept repeating to myself). Isabelle would eventually begin a question asking party but for now she was giving me time. It would come from all angles, I continued to sit there looking at her; blank, unable to conjure up the right words. I couldn’t bear to see it in her eyes the disappointment. I knew it would eventually be accompanied by compassion, but I was also trying to avoid the pitiful looks, so I kept mum for the moment.
Isa signalled the waiter for the bill. She paid. I tried to object but she was already tipping the waiter and up on her feet, motioning for us to leave. My actions and gestures were slurred, almost like my whole world was in slow motion. I was there without really being there… Reliving the scene, thinking back to Julia’s email, and her words:
” I want you to be my ultimate obsession.
I want to be your unforgettable pleasure,
your all time obsession
and your crazy possession.”
The email just kept on flashing in my mind, those words had stayed ingrained, perhaps because of their rhythmic pulsations which were now drumming through me. It was all incoherent to Isa and even in my state I could see she was worried, but she remained that solid rock I had always counted on all through the years. She walked me to her car, got me into the passenger seat and walked over to her side. As she fired up her engine, she informed me that we would send someone to get my car later, right now; we were just going to drive into the wind and clear our heads. She told me she was there if and when I needed to talk. She’d been through this before, so she knew something was up, even if she didn’t know what exactly it was. We just sat there in silence as she swivelled in and out of the Nairobi traffic. We headed towards the Rift Valley.
My thoughts were all over the place .I was convinced that the events of the last couple of minutes was a scene out of a dream, that some way or somehow I would be woken and realise that this was all a big joke. There was no way that Jackson’s whore was all up in my face flaunting and nagging. She needed to get in check, she needed to be put in her place.
We eventually got to the rift. Isa always knew what I needed. On the way she stopped and got an oversized bottle of Zinfandel’s wine, coupled with the fresh air, this could be the ultimate therapy and would eventually get me talking. That was for certain. We cracked opened the bottle and drank my sorrows away. I looked at Isa, my eyes were probably empty and hers full of questions. I didn’t know where to start… But it looked like she was saying to me; “I got you…” so I just started at the beginning.
By the time I was half way through re-accounting everything to Isa; from my first kiss with Olivier to the nasty fight with Jackson…Isa was still as cool, calm and collected as when we first arrived. There wasn’t a hint of judgement or disappointment on her face. I was somewhat relieved; and yet worried. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. I didn’t know how she would react. She just stood there and took in my very word… As I finished my story , we were going low on the wine, all of the sudden I watched as she got a second bottle from the trunk. She was always prepared this girl; that’s why I loved her so much and I could trust her with just about everything.
I looked into the valley, I could see the mountains and the mist. The air was a little colder up here, but it was fresh and rejuvenating. I inhaled, closed by eyes and disappeared. It didn’t last more than a minute as Isa brought me back to earth; she was ready to give me her piece of mind. All she could say was, “how could you?”; I knew she would have a mouthful to express; I knew she would not appreciate the cheating; especially because she had been through it – but hearing the disappointment in her voice was heartbreaking. I started to wonder truly, how I could have done it (?). But, when push came to shove, my ache wasn’t because I had cheated on Jackson; it was because his misdeeds were blowing up in my face. For reasons unknown to me, I simply had no remorse for my imprudence. I was starting to think that Olivier and I was perhaps love. I drifted off for a moment and thought of him; we had a camping trip planned with the kids up at Tahiti lodges. On the outside I was the face of broken woman, on the inside I was a woman who had found something she had been looking for her whole life. Could Isa see through the farce?
Somewhere on the other side of town.
Sandra Noah had no idea what kind of torrential storm was coming her way. Kayla was such an adorable little child. Shame.