For the longest time, God played tricks on me, making me believe that I would be the only girl in a family of four boys. He was clearly trying to toughen me up or something. Fact is, through the years, I quickly developed easier relationships with the male genre, and through the good and bad, there are men in my life who have just played the role a sister would have played. I thank God for my one and only biological sister, and all the other women and sisters he put on my path. But really, I like to talk about the men in my life and how they have influenced me (positively and rarely but surely negatively too).
I have been writing about the men in my life for a few years now. There’s a few posts you can find here. For every one of the posts I have modelled it on a masculine figure in my life who has somehow influenced me. It has been a fun experience, and sometimes I re-read them just to have a good laugh. To remember loves and encounters past, or the jokers that have put a smile on my face. I am hoping to write my final series soon enough (because truth is I have told you about all the memorable ones so far): obviously, it will be entitled THE MAN IN MY LIFE (lol). I hope to be able to find the embodiment of my heart’s desire in one, and the one man who encompasses the good and the bad I have known through my existence on this marvellous here earth.
But for now, this one goes out to the men who are my family. From my father(s) and father figures, to my biological brothers and adopted brothers, those men who are either my cousins or friends of my brothers, those men who feel the need to protect me regardless. Who would fight battles for me out of pure and untainted love. I thank you all, too many to mention, but here are some of your stories.
Before I write that final chapter, whenever that will be, I want my second last #MenInMyLife post to be about my family.
A lot of times, I find one of these in each of them, or ALL in just one. But these ones are special because of their perfect timing.
My father and all the men how have been generous enough to be fathers to me: For their unconditional love, devoted protection, and strong counsel, I am infinitely grateful! I like to say there is no me without him, but clearly no us without every single one of them. To my dad and my fathers, because a father Is not just the biological one, I say thank you for your constant high expectations of me. And for making a little girl a princess for life.
My Cheerleader: This is the one man for whom I can do no wrong. It doesn’t matter how many times I mess up, or don’t. It doesn’t matter that I haven’t accomplished all the things I set out to do, this man always cheers me on. He is my personal pep squad, always with the right words, always encouraging me and always just darn right there. I love this one, because he makes me feel good, even when I am at my lowest, and I know I can always count on him to put a smile on my face.
My reality check: Unlike the cheerleader, this one has a smart mouth on him. Often times, I avoid him when I’m trying to delude myself. But why I appreciate this one so, because he tends to tell me like it is, whether I like it or not. The truth is, he has saved me from many a complicated situations. You know the kind of bull that us women like to sugar coat, well Mr. RC won’t let it happen. I have had memorable nights with this one.
The papa bear: Just like it sounds, papa bear is always on ‘protection’ (overload) duty. I think sometimes he thinks I am going to break. And the hardest thing for him has been to see me grow up and become like he says ‘a woman’. I think the day he meets the man that will eventually pull me from his grasp, he will have a sit down and “talk’. I don’t know that he will do much talking but probably more growling, scolding and scorning. I love me papa bear because no matter how old I get, he still tries to pinch my cheeks, ruffle up my hair or just treats me like I was still 5.
My ride or die: this one will come into town and call, won’t matter what it is I am doing, he always has something for us to do. He will take me out all night, till the early dawn. Drinks and food, combined with copious amounts of laughter. We will laugh at those women who try to approach him, but hesitate (thinking I must be the girl) and then he will encourage those men who try to hit on me (while secretly laughing at the ones he thinks have no chance). Ride or die, is my girlfriend but in the body of a man. And the next day, when my head aches, he will tell me”: we do it (all over) again tonight?
The protector: Just like papa bear, this one thinks I can break, Everywhere we go, he stands at 6+ft tall and checks out the competition (well not that he is competing, but he has decided no one is good enough). His side eye game is so strong, and he has been known to walk me through crowds at the club just so I wouldn’t be ‘bothered’. I avoid him when I’m trying to have a scandalous night out with the girls. Because just as he protects me, he does the same with my girls. But we love him so, we have the strength of a thousand men when we are with him.
The grinch aka my sometimes enemy: He his own special kind of brand. I should not do anything, anywhere, anytime. I was born to be home and take care of the kids. His philosophy. Works for his women, but sometimes I have to remind him I am not his woman. His rules are made for them. He is simply my brother and friend, and trying to change or model me really won’t work. Why I love him so? Not sure, but probably because he has always been consistent and when I watch him with his lady, I secretly hope that I find someone who grounds me so.
My ‘personal’ clown: the polar opposite of the grinch, this one is my very own Kevin Hart. His mission in life; make me smile and laugh all the damn time. If he ever has a conversation with me and I don’t laugh, he does not feel accomplished. I run to him on the bad days and sometimes the good, because his jokes can do me no wrong. Ever!
The inconsistent one/mess: Now this one enjoys my company today and then the company of another tomorrow. He is inconsistent in everything. I can’t count on him for much, but when he is around he gives 110%, as if to compensate for this erratic behavior and his soon to approach disappearing act. What is it about this one that allows me to keep letting him back in? I do not know. His charm? I think his inconsistency, bridges a gap and fills the void of some of my faults – relativism much? I can’t be that bad, if he is.
I could go on, but these are the loyalists, never a dull moment with them. And what they mus tknow and understand is that I lean on them more so ever than they could ever lean on me. If you want to know the value of a good man/brother/father in your life? Ask someone who has never had one. As I write my last few words on the #MenInMyLife I say to you all, cherish them, appreciate them and above all love them (sometimes we don’t give them enough).
Tell me about the men in your life on this #InternationalMensDay