- How being friendly is all of a sudden a faux-pas?
Some people are astounded at how easily some women or men get into each other’s pants (but then again that is a matter of relativity, intensity, attraction and maybe even principle)… Some have been said to enjoy the one night stands and others prefer to be courted. In any case; what each does with their jewels is truly their own business. Tupac sang, ‘only God can judge me’ and it applies.
But, I am pissed, no perhaps even amused when people assume that because you are nice to them or because you give them the time of day it’s a free pass on the jolly good ride.
A conversation is still a conversation. A smile is still a smile. A kiss is still a kiss. And none of that means let’s do this (the ‘thang’). In my honest opinion men don’t make any effort any more. Somehow, gallantry walked right out the door and women watched as they waved on. Am inclined to think that women are partly if not mostly to blame and men just sit back and take advantage of said situation.
There was a time when it was customary to call a woman and ask her out, take her to dinner, charm her and inform her of your intentions. It was subsequently followed by one more date and then another and another and eventually if the sparks sparked then the fire sizzled. But oddly enough, today, it’s a whole different story. It is more of a chase to the bed.
It seems that the whole idea of being courted is somehow from the Stone Age. We’ve been relegated to the Flintstones techniques and “yabadabadoo” era. Men approach and talk to you in tongues (with no respect mind you), they don’t bother inviting you and quite often don’t hesitate to make you indecent proposals. Chanting and chastising when you decline. Abusive and condescending when you expect more; and all of a sudden you are being too ‘stuck up’ or ‘too difficult’ because you refuse to settle for the sub par standard. Don’t get me started on the ones with game who are just pretending to be genuine. (Not sure which are worse…)
I am by no means generalizing. This is a singular story. This is my opinion and feel free to develop your own.
Dave Chapelle said it, am only agreeing, “Chivalry is dead and women killed it”. This is why I think women have made the playing ground uneven.
- Some Independent women minimize chivalry and make us think the two are incompatible
- Desperate women have turned the biological clock into their excuse for everything and throw themselves at every john peter or Paul
- Women think they are equal to men; and therefore want to start playing the same games they do
- Woman is woman’s worse enemy, too often they fight for the same man and give him too much attention (their heads begin to swell and their egos usually follow)
- Did i mention too many women throw themselves at men? (Their choices are endless, so when one says no, they can simply move on to another)
- Women forget to DEMAND to be treated right, they FORGET to have high expectations
…. I could go on with the reasons but other women might just find my attitude ‘almighty’. I just want women to give back to men the RIGHT to treat us like ladies. So that when I talk to some guy he doesn’t think that it is a free pass to throw himself at me. I don’t want my smile to be mistaken as code for you to stick your tongue down my throat. So that when I accept to go on a date it doesn’t mean that I want to get into your bed. I just want to be able to meet and dine without worrying about what is thought of me. So that yes is a yes and no is a no. I want to be able to say am single and not desperate, I want to be able to mingle meet and make new friends, if those friendships develop into something more…then thank you, but if not… I want to know that my attempt at a friendship or my acceptance to give you a chance wasn’t mistaken for a frantic need to get laid.
A friendship is still a friendship. A laugh is still a laugh. A kiss is still a kiss. And I simply just want y’all to understand that me being nice, don’t mean am easy. Get to know me, DATE me, charm me, serenade me, hold doors open for me, be suave without expecting anything in return. If you do get more, then its your lucky day, perhaps even mine….but don’t turn around and abuse me because I was just another friendly girl.
P.S: Don’t go assuming that you men are not at fault. That you are off the hook, because it’s not your fault that there is shortage of men or that women are just pouncing on you. Get your acts together. Because ain’t nothing worse than being single and dating a moron. Step up and BE A GENTLEMAN, I know mama taught you right.
And to those men who do try, and are rejected, don’t stop, some girl somewhere is demanding it of you.