It is that time of the year, again. No I won’t be talking about Basketball (yet) 😅 but I need to capture some attention. Hopefully they (read my male friends) don’t log off too soon.
March is a passionately, often heavy month for me. It marks Endo awareness (one of my life time discussion points) and also commonly associated with Women and their Rights. This year the highlight in Douala, was #InspirTalks themed AUDACITY.
I met and spoke with various young women yesterday who had twinkles in their eyes, hungry for a chance to be heard, a desire to aspire and inspire.
I shall speak briefly of some:
The Audacious
– Her inquiry was about knowing when to be audacious, because along the way, her often bold is met with brick walls. During a recent interview, she asked (paraphrased) her future employer, “what are company x plans for personal development, because this is where I plan to be in x years. Will this company accompany me?”. Her question was met with a “never ask that in a future interview” by her recruiter. She wondered if she was wrong to plan. My response to her was, you know what you want, never be scared to ask for it. Next time, formulate it so that the employer feels like you are asking what you can bring to him, and not necessarily to yourself. As Carnegie says, human beings are motivated only by their own self interest .
The Courageous
– She said to me, “I recently quit my job because my boss was a tyrant. I couldn’t go on working In a toxic environment, I was unhappy and was loosing myself. Do you think it was the right decision? Because now my family says I shouldn’t have done it”. I felt for her, at such a young age. What has been done, has been done, and my best words to her were to remind her that she is in full control of her decisions, and she will face the consequences with all the courage she needs and has. The only questions I had for her was to know, if she was at peace with her decision, if she was happier and if she felt like she was in a good place to put herself in the job market again? She answered a firm yes to every single one. My take is that she truly is ready for her next move and the decision was the right one for her. Sometimes we know we have to walk away (and it is time to do so) but we are just lacking the courage to do so.
The Passionate/Brave/Charming (the many)
– She boosted my ego by her shear and uninhibited passion. She absolutely wanted to meet me, I wasn’t sure why. She told me how my posts were motivational to her. She wanted to take a picture with me. She and her were many young women yesterday, and as I spoke to her, as I heard her story, as I smiled through the pictures, I realized and understood that I absolutely had to meet HER, and that was the Universe’s work. I was in the right place, at the right time. SHE re ignited the fire in me to speak, to write, to share because you never know where or when the fish will hook, line and sinker.
Those few minutes of exchanges were invigorating and the basis for 5 key lessons learned/reminded and important to share today
1. “Our [Audacious] feminity is a competive advantage” Lynda Amadagana
Growing up, we have often been taught that to walk with the wolves, we should (must even) become a wolf. Masquerade, copy, emulate what we see and want to be. The result of this, is that in the corporate world and world in general, as women, we try to be Men in an often very patriarcal and masculine environment. Quickly putting aside ‘ourselves’ and harboring a cloak we are not familiar with. We must not loose that which is us, our feminity is an Armour and it is ours to use.
2. Do not minimize the impact you can have
Every little step counts. There is always someone looking up/for you.
Leadership is neither feminine or masculine.
3. Your audacity won’t always be accepted, recognized or even approved. It is yours, own it, fly with it
Period. And that doesn’t mean it is not necessary. Is there a right time, place to be audacious? You won’t know until you try it. Add faith to the mix, ground yourself. I said it a few weeks ago, audacious faith is an explosive cocktail.
It is tenacious faith that does not give up, doesn’t take no for an answer. It’s a complete disregard of the status quo. It is not just about being a believer, a Christian or Muslim believer, but rather a believer who is willing to stand up against all odds in varied situations rather than be conformed by what people think, say, do or how the live.
4. Walk the talk!
Do what you say, say what you do. Actions will always speak louder than words. Don’t just be Audacious, do the work. Ultimately your work, drive, ethic will speak with and for you.
5. Define, maintain and entertain your support system …
In life, one misplaced domino, will shackle the stack. There is nothing worse than to be surrounded by the wrong people, family , friends, colleagues, partner. Your surrounding echoes you, make sure they are echoing positivity and telling you the hard truths. Your system isn’t static, while there may be one or two pillars, you are free (allowed) to switch it up and find what fits and suits you.
My audacity, the audacity of Cameroonian women, African women is to show up for ourselves and others in the midst of continued misogyny, patriarchy, injustice and poverty.
I was inspired, were you?
#TNT 